I have returned to school from a month long vacation of pure chillaxin'. Now I'm back to a a constant routine and a rather solitary life. It's really my fault that I don't have a "life" because I make a very poor effort to try and socialize. I'm fine with it though in an odd sort of a way. I find immense peace when I'm alone. Living with a family of six including two dogs, two cats and an array of other sorts of pets I've never really been alone. I can get a lot of things accomplished when I'm alone and then again nothing at all. I really should be a Buddhist. Don't they spend a lot of time alone meditating and such? Or maybe a wise, old, Asian man in the mountains of China... that's quality alone time there. When you type "alone" in the Bing (because I believe it's much better than google and I've made it my home page because it always has marvelous photos everyday and not "how can we morph the word 'Google' into an image for each holiday or random inventor of the xylophone's birthday) the first thing that pops up is "alone in the wilderness" which reminds me of the book, Into The Wild (which is quality and you should read it... only book I've ever liked reading in my two years of AP English.) Anyway, in a deep sense being "alone" really correlates with nature and peace and such. That's why I like nature and wood so much I guess. Did that all just make sense? Whatever.
Guess what?! I got a 4.0 GPA for my first semester in college except for physics which actually brought me down to a 3.55. Damn physics! Why U No Make Sense??? At least I passed. I truly almost thought I was really going to fail but ha! It's really my fault though because I should have gotten help but I'm too shy, insecure and proud to get help. This semester however I am taking earth science which is a little more up my alley. Also, I'm sort of freaking out because my professor is from New Zealand and he's just really nice. It's like Hugh Jackman is teaching my class every Monday's and Wednesday's between 10:35 and 11:30. (Hugh Jackman as in his voice, not his good lookingness, I mean he's not ugly but you know.)
I feel awful that I haven't written in over a month because there are so many quality stories to tell that have been lost maybe forever in my brain. I've come up with a solution though... when I think of something good to write, I'm going to write it down! I know. Genius. I mean I'm no Alberto Einstein but some times I think of myself as very clever. Which reminds me of when I went to confession before Christmas, I didn't know what to confess because literally I don't think I've sinned at all since I've been in seclusion for over three months. But then, I realized that I'm very proud... like I think I'm better than a lot of people and I have a lot of hate because... I very passionately hate a lot of people (which is why I don't complain about how I wish I was back in high school because a lot of people I hate are there or graduated.) So I told the priest those two things but I told him that I knew deep down that I wasn't truly better than anyone or hated anyone and that it was just difficult to suppress these feelings. Well, the priest was retired and didn't really give a penance so I don't know how to go about this now. At least all my sins where absolved... I'm probably going to hell for all this blasphemy.
I probably should stop writing now because I'm going down a deep dark hole but while I'm on the subject of confessions... I confess that I write really adorable statuses on Facebook so a lot of people will "like" it and comment stuff like "I love you Bridget." It makes me feel wanted and loved and such. But that's what Facebook is sort of for right... to be loved and feel wanted. Why else would they have a "like" button? Now, once everyone reads this no one is going to "like" my statuses. PLEASE DON'T DO THAT. I have no friends here. I need some lovin'. All I need is love. love. love.
Thank you for reading and I love you guys... whoever you are.
